Friday, March 26, 2010
1 year ago today
It's been 1 year today since you went away.
I go on, but sometimes I wonder why.
I know I have to, but, at times I feel guilty because I am, and you aren't here to share life with me.
There have been so many joyous things happen this past year that I know you would have loved to see.
3 beautiful new grand babies, and a beautiful great niece have joined us since you passed. Plus, a new great grandson due very soon.
I had my surgery in August and have lost a lot of weight. My health is getting better, the diabetes is gone, high blood pressure is gone, off all that medication.
But, I can't help feeling so sad. As hard as I try to pretend life is good, it just isn't.
Yes, at times I wanted to hang you for your grumpiness, or your controlling ways at times, but right now what I wouldn't give to hear your voice, even if it was to be barking orders like you were still that drill Sargent in the Marine Corp.
But, even more, I would love to hear you tell me again how much you love me and how pretty you think I am, like you used too. Even if you were half blind like I always said you were,,,LOL
Deep down I know I have to keep on going. I just needed to tell you that it's not easy without you. And, sometimes I just don't want to. But I will, because the kids and the babies make it worth it. I wish you could be here with us though.
Oh, Lily had her first ice cream cone and Jammie says you would have been proud.
You gave the others their first one. It's times like those, that make me miss you more each day.